Thank You for Not Smoking...Seriously.

Me: Hiding around the corner of the house, but evidently not very well hidden.
Her: Are you smoking? I said don't smoke! It's yucky.
Me: No, I'm not smoking (quickly putting it out).
Her: You are too! I saw a smoker in your hand!

Hmmm. Smartypants. I guess I can't fool her anymore!

Rated PG

Looking in her toy box for something the other day:

Now where is that damn turtle?!

Thank You for Not Smoking

Her: Don't smoke! It's yucky. I told Jon it's yucky for him, too.

On Cleanliness

Her: You have a lot of dead bugs in your window.
Me: I know. I've been meaning to clean them out.
Her: Why don't you clean really often?
Me: Ahem.

Viewing Pleasure

Me: We should get you a new TV for your room and mount it from a swing bar on the ceiling so you can rotate it and watch it everywhere in your room.

Her: But if you put it on the ceiling, I'll need a ladder to watch TV!

Where Are We Going?

Scene: She is putting on her shoes and socks.

Me: Are you going somewhere?
Her: No, I just want to look cute.

Princess Poo Poo

Scene: Just moved into the new house, everything is still in disarray.

Her: Clean this mess up!
Me: Why don't YOU clean this mess up?
Her: I don't want to get my hands dirty.

Rakes and Shovels and Bicycles, Oh My!

Scene: Watching E.T. for about the 32nd time.

Me: So, are there any aliens hiding out in your shed?
Her: No. We just have rakes and shovels and bicycles in there.

Of course.

Aunt Carly: What do you want for your birthday?
Her: An outfit.

Management Material

Her Mom: Will you please help me clean up these toys?
Her: No, that's okay. I'll just supervise.