Crap My Niece Says
The musings of a toddler.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Mad?
Her: Why are you mad at my mom?
Me: I'm not mad at your mom, why do you ask?
Her: Yes you are. I saw the picture at Grandma's house.
(note to the reader - picture in question was taken in approximately 1977)
Me: You're right. I was mad. All your mom did when she was your age was whine and cry.
Recycling
Went out to get the recycling bin from the curb this morning. Came back to a locked storm door. Asked her to let me in. She laughed, said no way, and dragged it out for a minute. Until I threatened a day-long timeout. She is definitely one of my relatives...we love pranks.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Long Noses and Mean Bugs
She just told me that this boy was watching a scary movie and that it really creeped her out. “It had dragons and monsters and monkeys and dragon flyers. They fly and poke at your windows with their long noses and mean bugs. If they get in, they ruin you and make you dead. It's really scary. It creeps me out a lot. Would that creep you out?” She said the boy that was watching it has watched it a million zillion times and he wasn't scared at all.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Happy Birthday To Me (You)
Me: It's your day! Sing Happy Birthday to me!
Her: Happy Birthday to you!
Me: No, I mean sing Happy Birthday to yourself.
Her: Happy Birthday to myself, Happy Birthday to myself...
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
She's Got...Personality?
Additional evidence gathered during a visit to Costco which supports the post from January 5th.
Me, smiling at the sweet little princess.
Her: Don't LOOK at me!
Me: Oh my, I'm sorry. Why not?
Her: Don't TALK to me, either! I don't want to talk.
Me, to her Dad: Wow, she sure is getting unpleasant in her old age!
Me, smiling at the sweet little princess.
Her: Don't LOOK at me!
Me: Oh my, I'm sorry. Why not?
Her: Don't TALK to me, either! I don't want to talk.
Me, to her Dad: Wow, she sure is getting unpleasant in her old age!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Not a Baby Anymore
Me: Picking her up and holding her like a baby when she's nearly 4.
Her: Don't hold me like this! I'm not a baby anymore!
Me: I know. You were a lot nicer when you were a baby.
Her: (after I'd set her free and she's stomping up the stairs)...I am going to be who I am right now! Hmpf!
Her: Don't hold me like this! I'm not a baby anymore!
Me: I know. You were a lot nicer when you were a baby.
Her: (after I'd set her free and she's stomping up the stairs)...I am going to be who I am right now! Hmpf!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Santas and Pagans
Me: Would you like to see the dress I bought to wear on Christmas?
Her: Sure.
Me: Here it is!
Her: So, you're wearing that on Halloween?
Me: NO. I am wearing it on Christmas.
Her: Oh. Actually, it's quite a beautiful dress.
Her: Sure.
Me: Here it is!
Her: So, you're wearing that on Halloween?
Me: NO. I am wearing it on Christmas.
Her: Oh. Actually, it's quite a beautiful dress.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Snack Time
Scene: Eating animal cookies.
Me: We should tell grandpa and great grandpa that we ate elephants, gorillas, and chickens while they were gone.
Her: But we won't tell them they were cookies! That's going to be so funny.
Me: We should tell grandpa and great grandpa that we ate elephants, gorillas, and chickens while they were gone.
Her: But we won't tell them they were cookies! That's going to be so funny.
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